* STATS *
How old are ya? (Tell the truth. There's nothing wrong with being young...or old for that matter): 20
Where are you from? Or if you're a college student, what school are you going to? ...actually...feel free to answer both if applicable: Hometown: Jeffersonville, Indiana. College: Western Kentucky University, HICK SCHOOL!
What's your name?: JP-Ness the mighty, P-ness, PNenguin, Sir. I have many aliases
In the odd event that your name is one of those either way names, what sex are you?: I have a glorious p33n that would put everyone else's p33n to shame.
* CONTACT STUFF *
AIM SN: jpness33
Yahoo SN: pancakeman33
ICQ UIN: NA
MSN SN: email@example.com
Any other IM chat service you use and the appropriate info here: Ifucked...my sn is Yourmom.
* FAVORITES!!! *
What is (are) your favorite TV show(s) of all time?: ALF, South Park, Family Guy, Will & Grace, Chappelle's Show, Malcom In the Middle, Tenacious D, The Ben Stiller Show
What is (are) your favorite Book(s)?: Anything written by James Patterson, Michael Crichton, or Stephen King. Oh, and I adore the Kama Sutra
Movie(s)?: American Beauty, Cannibal! The Musical, A Clockwork Orange, 3 Ninjas, Frailty, Identity, The Butterfly Effect, etc...
Band(s)?: Mindless Self Indulgence, Hoobastank, Incubus, Iced Earth, Metallica, Atmosphere, Marilyn Manson, MC Chris, Jurassic 5, Tub Ring, etc...
Color(s)?: Yellow, Orange, Black, Blue
Spice Girl? (I'm not asking if you liked them, cause I sure as hell didn't. Just curious to know the answer. :P): Baby Spice...because those pigtails give you something EXCELLENT to grab onto whilst she's sucking your p33n
Food(s)?: Anything Chinese, Calamari, Pasta
And...website(s)?: livejournal.com, Maddox, Something Awful, Homestar Runner, College Humor, Ill Will Press: Home of FOAMY, and All Music Guide.
* LEAST FAVORITES!!! *
What is (are) your least favorite TV show(s) of all time?: all soap operas, most of the shit that is on MTV, and Friends is the worst piece of shit show that has ever been produced.
What is (are) your least favorite Book(s)?: I really don't have many least favorite books, but The Red Badge of Courage is the worst 100 pages that American literature has ever yielded
Movie(s)?: All little teeny-bopper flicks, chick flicks, crappy cut-rate horror movies, shitty movie that starts with T and ends with ITANIC
Band(s)?: Good Charlotte, Avril, Backstreet Boys, Kid Rock, Will Smith
Color(s)?: gawdy looking pinks, and salmon...I can't STAND salmon
Spice Girl? (Again, I'm not asking if you liked them): Sporty Spice...can we say 'Ugly flat-chested whore'?
Food(s)?: Cheese...it's the fucking devil.
And...website(s)?: Click HERE!!!!!
* OPINIONS *
What's your opinion on racism?: Racism can be funny, if we let it. However, people who take their racist remarks to be gospel can suck my balls while I point a high caliber shotgun to their face.
Abortion?: I'm Pro-Choice. A woman's body is not mine to judge for.
File Sharing?: File sharing |20><0|2z
Paid LJ accounts?: I WANT ONE! Buy one for me! Buy one for me!
Premarital Sex?: I say go for it, as long as you use protection and caution you should be just fine. Don't make babies unless you want them, wrap up your sausage nice and tightly
Marriage?: I think marriage is beautiful. I plan to get married to my wonderful woman sometime in the next few years. I also think marriage should not be taken lightly, marry for love and marry forever, that's what I say.
Gay rights?: Give them to the homosexuals, they deserve their rights just as much as us heterosexuals deserve ours.
Gay Marriage?: Marriage is LOVE, it knows NO gender.
Affirmative Action?: I really do hate it. Just on one side of the argument, I think you should hire based on experience, not on race. A caucasian should be hired over a hispanic if the caucasian has more experience...but that's only one side of Affirmative action, I can't argue all sides here so take my answer for what it is.
Politics?: I get bored with politics, and I think politicians have it easy because they are basically paid to bullshit. That's a pretty sweet job, if you ask me.
* ABOUT YOU *
Who are you?: I am the almighty powerful P-ness...if you cross me, you'll have to face my SQUIRRELY WRATH!
What sets you apart from all the other sheep (or more affectionately, bleaters)?: I say what I want, when I want...I'm not afraid to be an asshole to someone who is a pathetic ignorant waste of space. If I am your friend, you'll have a great comrade that will stick by you to the bitter end with no reverse talkin, but lots of reverse walkin. I really do kick ass, ask anyone who's had the pleasure of stroking the P-ness.
If you could be just like anyone (living or dead), who would you choose and why?: George Carlin. As an asshole, he is one of my personal HEROES! I want to be just like him in every single way. He's just so raw and in your fucking face that it's amazing. He is truely one of the asshole mastaZ.
Who is your favorite person in the world and why?: My Nicole (malatise). I love her so much and she really understands me in all of my intricacies. It's amazing how we just clicked right off the bat, and I hope to spend plenty of happy years with her.
What's the most interesting experience you've ever had?: Um, almost...and I mean this...having sex when I was really plastered. It was odd and I must say, kind of interesting even though the person that I almost shared that experience with and I aren't together anymore. I'd rather forget that experience, but it happened and I must also say that I'm not particularly proud of it.
What's the strangest thing you've ever done?: I've talked in acronyms and leet all day. That was FREEKY!
What's the worst thing you've ever done to someone else?: The worst thing I've ever done is lie to my parents...the absolute worst
What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?: I got hit in the gonads with a tennis ball going 80 miles per hour. I sang soprano that day.
* RANDOMOSITY *
For the following questions, refer to these lists of random words:
List A: Artificial words created with a Random Word Generator:
madactril undilyrimen awlibraze quadmieriatrum alualsity
List B: Real words:
carnal galloches tireless spy reopen mangle feline megaton ace distillery
Choose three words from List A and create a definition for them below. Also include what type of word they are (noun, verb, etc.)
1. madactril - This is Texan slang for 'peanut'. We're not sure why they say this, but it's probably due to their complete lack of brains, and total belief in incestuous relationships.
2. alualsity - an odd smell coming from a Puddle of Mudd band member
3. undilyrimen - unadwears that ride up a lot and chafe your sensitive areas. Also, can double for an extremely uncomfortable handjob from a mime or wild aardvark
Now, using the three words from above and any five words from List B, write a story below. Be sure to bold all words taken from one of the two lists. Feel free to use any form or tense of the words. For example, ace can be used as a noun or a verb. If used as a verb, it can also be used in the past tense (aced).
There once was a man of a shorter stature, or midget if you wanna be a dick about it, who loved to indulge in the underground subculture of receiving undilyrimen from several 'partners' whilst unprotected. One day he was spying in on another man who enjoyed this sick and twisted act and he realized that it was Wes Scantlon from Puddle of Mudd and he was particularly sloshed and staggering. Almost immediately he noticed the distinct alualsity emanating from him which he deduced was an odor like that of a distillery. He was receiving a rather ghastly looking handjob from a deformed mime, and all the while asking for a madactril. The mime was looking particularly tireless, so after Scantlon was finished the midget decided to go over and ask the mime for a little sumptin' sumptin'. The mime had quick, almost feline, movements and before too long, the midget was screaming "OH MY FUCKING GALLOCHES, THAT'S THE DAMN TICKET!'. After a minute of furious pumping from the mime, the midget was finished, and the aardvark was called in to suck up the mess. TEH END!
* THE END *
Any last words or comments?: Flippity-floppity-floop!
"There's a million other women in this world, but not all of them will bring you lasagne to work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."
-Silent Bob- (dere we go)